Positive thinking? Yes, Please!

Two of my "Pillars of Strength"
(My mom in white, her sister, Lu... in yellow--both "Gardiner Wimmens")

I am a believer in positive thinking. I probably wouldn't be here today if I didn't. I think I get it from my mother as certainly, I did not obtain that attribute from my father--for those of you who knew him. Although my mom's new beau calls her "Ms. Gloom and Doom", I honestly can't see that in her at all. Sure, my mother can be what I call "a-future-psychic-worrier-with-the-best-intentions-in-mind", but she certainly does not take the GLOOM AND DOOM attitude. When things happened in my life while growing up, they were treated with nonchalance... "oh well, we'll get through this (______fill in the blank______). I never felt that whatever was happening was so horrible that I wouldn't get through it. A couple of times, I almost felt remorse and bitterness because I was NOT treated with more empathy from my family members due to my disease and that I had gotten dealt a bad card in life. Sometimes I wanted to be babied and felt sorry for, but I would DIE now, if someone felt sorry for me. There is NOTHING to be sorry for.
There are so many things to bring one (anyone) down in life and if one let's them... they'll find themselves at the Earth's core. I can only imagine that it's not a pretty place. Most recently, after being diagnosed with yet another "detrimental" disease known as CFRD (Cystic Fibrosis related Diabetes) many of my friends and people I tell often have the same reaction: "What gives!?!!! Life is just not fair, don't you have enough on your plate already!?" I could "give into their heed" but I don't. I always am looking on the brighter side, finding something which is good instead of "Poor, poor pitiful me!" Life is too short for that!

In reading a book recently, called "Sick Girl Speaks", something spurred me into thinking how really blessed I am. Although I go up my mountain climbs and back down each day, I feel that God has once again given me something else that I will have to deal with (or else) and become a stronger, richer person in doing so. I have met so many people, already, that have the same affliction as me, although it's not CF related and is a little bit different, but there is a WHOLE other world out there with compassionate, strong people that have been dealing with this new found disease to me, for all their lives, 10 years and so on. They are all open and willing to help their "fellow" SUGAR METER checkers...telling me stories of their fear of needles, having to give themselves a shot each time they eat as I am doing now, how they have to keep something on their feet due to the Neuropathy that occurs eventually when your sugars are not in control over time and many other things that I had no idea existed. It IS a scary thing ... the fear of not knowing and having to learn yet more, monumental duties of CARE just to exist, but facing it in a positive way instead of "WHY ME" helps me to exist in a much happier state.

Don't get me wrong... POSITIVE thinking doesn't solve anything that is evident other than YOUR inner attitude with life. People will still give you sympathy and treat you like "you poor thing", but don't let them trick you into thinking that you're anything but POOR! YOU are becoming stronger... you are growing and learning and LIVING life in a different way. Yea, I still have my days when I can't get a handle on my blood sugars (which is so new to me, having to count every carb that goes into my mouth and giving myself a shot of insulin--HOPEFULLY in the right amount--to trick the pancreas into thinking that it is normal in order for my body to function properly) but I feel as each day passes, I am learning more about my body and will eventually get to the place where it's "old hat" and I can do it in my sleep, much like I do all my other, daily routine treatments and med's.

Yes... there are days when I wish I didn't have yet another thing to deal with... when I am famished and just want to delve into my meal after giving thanks, but reality for each person is REALITY and we all have our own to deal with. Looking at it in a positive way and nonchalance (like it's NO BIG DEAL), though, will at least make you FEEL better about it. It does me!
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This is my cousin, Caroline... we grew up together, like sisters. Being only 6 months apart... she is yet another one of my PILLARS as well as my sister, Cindy.