I am bummed-beyond-belief…but I kinda knew what the doc was going to recommend…Infectious Disease doc: aka Dr. Clooney… very cute doc that I normally should be very
concerned about seeing, but really don’t mind seeing at all considering the circumstances. He fixes things…finds the right treatment and really seems to care… he’s so pensive all the time. I don’t like the fact that he comes in when “all else is failing” (exaggerating a little here). But,he looks like George Clooney and I am sure everyone flirts with him…. how can you not, when he blushes at the comments. Anyway, the last time I saw him was a time or two ago when the IV antibiotics the normal doc (awesome CF doc, might I add here) had me on weren’t working anymore to the point where I wasn’t getting better in the ordinate amount of time. So, Dr. B. swoops in and decides the alternate strategy and/or other course of IV’s to be infused.The rest of my routine in here stays the same… inhaled nebs, respiratory toilet, diet, workouts, sleep—or non sleep patterns if anyone has any experience with hospitals, updates on my computer, awakenings from staff at inopportune times for vital signs and blood sugar sticks, etc. I find myself wanting to sleep a lot more during this stay than others. I am still just so tired all the time.
Patience and meditation are my friends right now. They are my only friends that literally keep me from going insane in this "semi solitary confinement". It is so hard when your life just “stops” like this for two weeks or three weeks and there is nothing you can do about it. It doesn’t matter if you get all your treatments in, blow your head off till you’re blue in the face and still not produce the numbers in the required range. I still have faith, though, that my baseline will once again return to where it was. I just need to exercise more, if I can, and pay even closer attention to all the tell tale” signs of infection… be more in tune to my body and what it is “screaming”, not that I don’t already, but I believe the infection I have now seems to have a much more advanced progression where it’s incremental and takes over much faster than in the past. Before I had this particular one, it would slowly creep up and BOOM… now, it’s only a matter of a few days of when I notice the change and it seems to overtake my lungs requiring oxygen, violent coughing attacks and gasps for air.
I “do what I do” till I can’t DO anymore…. It’s in my nature.I wouldn’t be here if that wasn’t the case. I have always been one to fight and have had so many heros (cf brothers and sisters) that have inspired me and fought before me---so, I will continue my trek onward and do whatever it takes to get back to my baseline (or even higher---wouldn’t that be nice!) I have my strong faith, a loving and fulfilling husband, so many friends who love me, family who support me, a team of respiratory caretakers…including my doc and a great online community whom I can turn to always. I am blessed for that. I just can’t wait to get home to see my puppies and hubby! Normality and routine of my “boring” life to be reinstated is what I want right now. ….til later….
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